Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Edward fifth and chaser hands
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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