Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
