Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
