Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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