New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
