So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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