Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
