cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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