Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
