I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
