i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
