apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
this hospital has no fireball
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
