I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Mom said you looked used
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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