Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
