He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have feelings that need drinking.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
