i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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