He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Sacagawea was the original milf.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
