About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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