I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
