I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Randomize
