More tranny stories later!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
