we have pet lesbian snakes
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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