Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
