i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got inside last night via doggy door
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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