Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
