I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
we're making bets on your personal life
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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