I have demons in me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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