he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize