Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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