I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
