just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
