I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize