I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dick very happy bro
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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