but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
