I forgot how hot balto sounded
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
