ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
