but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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