We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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