mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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