so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
