i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
