On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
