just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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