its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
