I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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