Nicole vs. Life
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
