Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize