It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
