maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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