If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
