god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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