we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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