DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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