I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The uberlube is also flammable
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
