ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
