Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
