Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
