She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
