hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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