Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
