My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
